Carol McGiffin: Mothers superior? It's mumbo

Apparently, people are happier if they are married – and married couples without children have the best relationships. Although women with children are happiest overall, whether they are in a relationship or not – so concludes a two-year study by the Open University. Well they obviously didn’t survey me, because I’m not married, I don’t have children and yet I couldn’t be happier. But it’s not the survey – entitled Enduring Love – that I take umbrage with, it’s all the predictable and typical rhetoric you get from femal

e commentators who, because they have had children, can’t seem to reiterate enough how superior, gifted and right they are for having done so. For example, one wrote: “If you think it (happiness) is being able to do what the hell you please whenever you want to and spending all your spare cash on flash holidays and expensive handbags, then yes, not having children is a good idea. “If, on the other hand, you are interested in developing as a human being, then I would argue that children, wherever possible, are an essential requirement. “Having kids teaches you so many things that are very hard to grasp otherwise. Empathy, patience and unconditional love, for a start. “To be a good parent you have to learn not to be selfish, to compromise and to put the needs of others before your own.” So what she’s saying is that women who choose not to have children – but not, obviously, those who cannot have them – are inferior human beings who have no empathy or patience and are incapable of uncon

ditional love. Oh, we’re also selfish, can’t compromise and we never put the needs of others before our own. I’d bet that the majority of women who have chosen to have children will agree with her. Well, how about the idea that NOT having children is quite possibly the least selfish thing you can do these days, given the state of the planet? And the fact that mothers are often selfish, putting their needs above those of their offspring? For example, choosing to work rather than bring them up themselves. I know loads of mothers who openly admit that while they wouldn’t change anything now, if they had their time again they wouldn’t have children because many – including my mum – who have devoted their lives to bringing up kids feel resentful. Not of their children but of the sacrifice. And some never want to let them go, so great are their expectations of guaranteed care in old age, a prime reason in a lot of cases for having them in the first place. And I’m selfish? Its Im A Celeb on ice Channel 4 seems to come up with a new and desperate idea for a celebrity reality show every week. It’s the only major channel that doesn’t have a successful format. The BBC has Strictly Come Dancing and The Apprentice. ITV has I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here and the unlikely ratings smasher, Splash. Meanwhile, Five has taken Big Brother, the daddy of all reality shows, from Channel 4 and turned its celebrity version into a piece of classic must-see TV. Meanwhile, C4’s latest idea features a line-up of mostly recycled reality veterans in ski suits doing winter sports. Doesn’t look like its position is going to change anytime soon, does it? Blair scare bunch This week we’ve seen Lionel Blair in rubber, feigning sex acts at a Celebrity Big Brother party. We’ve had Lee Ryan bl

ubbing like a baby as he’s been rumbled for being a player. Columnist Liz Jones – who accused Holly Willoughby of betraying women when she tweeted a picture of herself with no make-up – with no make-up. And Jim

Davi6h58com正宗蓝月亮 dson making Linda Nolan cry by bringing up something her dead husband did in Frank Carson’s dressing room. Channel 4 must be furious. Thanks: Emma at Golden Globes do (I

mage: Getty) Em put boot into Louboutin Thank you, Emma Thompson, for shattering the myth of the famous red-soled shoes, the ones favoured by celebrities and WAGs all over the world – Christian Louboutins. Costing upwards of 300 a pair with heels as sky-high as the price, they are quite simply impossible to walk in, as Emma showed when she took hers off because they were hurting her at the Golden Globe awards in Hollywood last week. The shoes are engineered by a man who loves toe-cleava

ge so your feet never really fit into them. They’re tyrannical and most of the time cause women to walk as if they need a loo or a Zimmer frame. I’m no Crocs fan – but I know from experience how painful Louboutins can be because I’ve got two pairs I’ve never worn. They’ve been designa

ted “lying down” shoes. Plane stupid airport delays I think I was still in nappies when they first started talking about airport expansion in London and the South East. And guess what? They’re STILL talking about it. The Whitehall appointed Airports Commission (a dithering, overpaid quango) has drawn up a shortlist of possibilities but is now going to spend another six months deciding whether or not to add Boris Johnson’s idea for a six-runway hub in the Thames Estuary to it. Then no doubt they’ll talk about it for another ten years and if we’re lucky we might get something to ease the air-traffic jams in our skies by 2030. Are they taking the mic

key? Another 16 years to wait? Another 16 years of circling over London in dangerous holding patterns waiting to land at one of the most expensive and congested airports in the world? Meanwhile, HS2, a train that will get us all to Birmingham 30 minutes faster and cost the same as a giant new airport (50billion), continues apace. When it comes to infrastructure, this country really is a joke. Now its cash for cuddles Apart from the gym, I’m not a member of any club. But I’ve heard about a new one in North London (handily near me). It’s called the Cuddle Workshop. Apparently around 20 people each pay 29 to go there and lie on a load of cushions with total strangers, “having a cuddle”. So I’m thinking of signin

g up for it. Not because I need a cuddle but because I actually don’t believe this club can be real and that people actually do pay to join it. Why not just get on the Tube in rush hour and have plenty of human contact

with stinking strangers? It only costs 2.80 with an Oyster card. Guess who? Abbotts portrait MPs 250k vanity project Portraits of politicians, like the recent one of Dianne Abbott, have always been around. Of course they’re

not cheap but why don’t they EVER look like their subjects? Having learnt that taxpayers have forked out 250,000 for them since 1995, why couldn’t they just use clever software to make a decent photo LOOK like a portrait. But let’s face it, it’s not their money and there’s no price too high for MPs’ vanity. And another thing... The world’s dirtiest old man has been in the newspapers this week – no, it’s not Lionel Blair in rubber. In fact, it’s Amou Haji, an 80-year-old Iranian who hasn’t had a wash for 60 years, smokes animal poo and eats rotten porcupine meat. Just think about that every time you pick up the anti-bacterial spray or throw out food a day past its sell-by date. News that 50,000 more people a year are being diagnosed with cancer is why I’m signing up for my 11th year of

Cancer Research UK’s Race For Life. There are events all over Britain every year to raise millions to fund research into conquering this hideous disease. So sign up at

Sawthat pair on This Morning drinking their own urine. First reaction: Yuk. Second: Probably tastes better than some of the wine I’ve had in pubs. Third: Could I bottle and sell mine? I can see it now: Chateau McGiff, only 5.99 a bottle. Lots of sex makes you more intelligent, say researchers at University of Maryland in the US. I’ve got two words to disprove that theory: Lee Ryan. Read more from Carol McGiffin here